Best Parenting Tool is Stable Relationship

The best parenting tool just might be a stable relationship between parents - and although that might sound odd, it's really not.

Think about it from a child's point of view. Think how he might feel:

• When his parents are constantly bickering, when they upset one another, when one storms out the door in anger.
• When parents who drain one another are sad and lonely.
• When one parent tells one thing, and the other parent tells him the opposite.
• If one of them leaves permanently. If he's never had two parents living together with him, he won't miss it if one leaves, but if he's used to two - even if the relationship is rocky - he will definitely feel the loss, but probably not be able to understand it.
• When fights and arguments happen but get resolved so he can see conflict come full circle.
• When there is laughter and fun between parents and within the whole family.
• When messages from one parent pretty much agree with messages from the other parent.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, but you can see how much a child can be influenced by the mood and tone of his parents' relationship. We can't be happy and stable all the time, but it's worth giving some thought to the impact we all have on our kids.